Stranger Than Fiction: The Reduced Script

No, I still have no idea why Harold Crick was able to hear Karen Eiffel, because, apparently, the best way to work around an inexplicable gimmick is to never explain it.

Sample:

EMMA'S VOICE f*cks WILL up. It narrates his movements when he is working, talking to people, and ogling MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL'S TITS VIA TRIGONOMETRY. Sometimes, it narrates parallel to the events in WILL'S life; other times, it warps time and space, narrating as if WILL is doing three different things at three different places simultaneously, even though WILL listens to the narration in real-time.

DUSTIN HOFFMAN: I draw pleasure from giving Will idiotic instructions and berating him for following them.
(pause)
As a literary expert and a moron, I suggest you prevent your imminent death by altering your current set of behaviors, despite the glaring possibility that your efforts might also be part of the plot that triggers your death.

V for Vendetta: The Reduced Script

To be quite honest, I liked this movie a lot, even though I disagree with the movie on a lot of things. I heard the original graphic novel was even more extreme, though. So I guess it would have been worse.

Also, I will now attempt to update on a biweekly basis. And finally, I will, from now on, include a sample of the script for every post announcing a script archive update.

Sample:


IMPRESSIONABLE MOVIE AUDIENCE: Please notice how very distinct each and one of us is to each other, even though our reactions are almost exactly the same. It's a good thing that different people have such a unified opinion on something so controversial.

Consequently, they from now on never stop watching TELEVISIONS, because TELEVISIONS are their only path to REALITY.